Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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