I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
