Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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