I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
