He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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