We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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