it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
