also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
