i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
