What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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