Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
