Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize