I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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