i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
