doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize