I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
