his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
