Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
