if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
