yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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