Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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