you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
