Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
