Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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