i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
