dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
