How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
