I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
