I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
