i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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