is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
