You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
