she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
