You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
