have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
