Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dick very happy bro
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
