Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
