if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
