You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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