Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize