Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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