But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I puked a lego.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
