I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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