I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
