So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
