SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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