I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
