We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
