she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
