Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
