a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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