took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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