I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
