Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
