fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
