Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
