she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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