what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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