I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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