Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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