my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize